Frosty Breath, Icicles and hot cocoa in Texas.

    I awoke to a crisp 75 degrees this morning and thought to myself " Now THIS is Christmas weather". We are up to a chilly 85 right now and I'm thinking about going sledding. No worries. I haven't lost my mind. That, my friends, is what we call sarcasm.

  I have lived a lot of places in my life, and when we're in warmer climates I always feel cheated around the winter holidays. I want the crunch of the fresh powder under my boots, the heat of the fire on my face and the sting of the cold on the tip of my nose. I considered getting creative with the kids' snow-cone machine and turning the AC on full blast, but decided not to do anything that would make the husband question my ability to be alone.
  I mentally kicked myself in the caboose this morning and decided to find the winter joy in my area. Looking around I found some things that are so unique and true to the culture here it put a little pep in my step. So now I'd like to bring you a smile and share with you my little towns' take on Christmas.
  Let start with lights. Twinkling strands of colorful lights glistening in the snow you will not find, but LED palm trees, giant inflate-able Santa's drinking Coors and penguins in sombrero's are plentiful. In our "small drinking community with a large fishing problem"  you will find the funniest, most creative outside displays you've ever laid eyes on. Want to dispute that? Go tell the guy down the street with the mechanical mooning Santa. Or the family that has the shot-gun shell garland wrapped around the roadside palm-trees.

  Next lets talk attire. You have cheese-ball sweaters, we have cheese-ball Hawaiian shirts. Give me a soccer mom with a light up sweater and elf hat and I'll show you a drunk with a pair of red and blue swim trunks and rain boots with bells. Not only do the folks around here strive to be the most festively creative, I believe there is a rule that you must display your holiday cheer with some sort humor. Yesterday I saw a man wearing a snow cap with plastic parrots glued to it.
  And finally, to brighten your day and bring you some cheer, I'd like to tell you about the vehicles. Now, I know that you have all seen the reindeer antlers that you roll up in your windows, and wreaths on the front grill, but we do things a little differently around here. First off, we prefer golf carts, and with that, the possibilities of decoration skyrocket. We string lights, we hand streamers, and we add bells, tinsel and mistle toe. We dress as Mr. and Mrs. Clause, and we even dress the dogs as Rudolf as we parade around town, PA systems at full blast, showing our Christmas spirit with cheers of "Yeah, man! Happy holidays bro!" and "There's more beer in the cooler back there, hop on, we'll head down to Sunset."
 So from "my" town to yours I wish you a very merry Christmas, I raise my Bud Light towards the sky and rub in more sunscreen as I thank my lucky stars I'm not in Missouri, freezing my ass off.